The Three Stooges Wise Guy root beer

Background information: Another root beer brought to us by Rocket Fizz - "The Rocket Fizz Soda Pop and Candy Shops, LLC was founded in 2007 by Robert (Rob) Powells and Ryan Morgan and in 2012 Rich Shane became the company CEO. The original "flagship" store located in Camarillo, California opened in 2009. The Camarillo and Sherman Oaks, California locations are company-owned. In under five years the Rocket Fizz Soda Pop and Candy Shops has become the largest and fastest growing soda pop and candy shop franchise brand in America. Besides the two company owned stores all of the other Rocket Fizz Soda Pop and Candy Shop locations throughout the U.S.A. are franchised and are independently owned and operated. As the creators and co-owners of the entire Rocket Fizz system, Rob and Ryan carefully select each Rocket Fizz franchise store operator."


Product details: 12 fl. oz.  Bottled by the Rocket Fizz Sode Pop and Candy Shops, LLC P.O. Box 3663, Camarillo, CA 93011. 170 calories, 42g sugar.  Glass bottle with twist off top.  http://www.rocketfizz.com


Ingredients: Spring water, cane sugar, citric acid, ester gum, caramel color & natural flavors.


My thoughts: I have to admit, I'm not a fan of the Three Stooges or their slapstick style of humor. Even as a child, I thought them very unfunny. So here we have a root beer named after them. Will I find it as incredibly unsatisfying as the Stooges themselves? Or will this drink transcend their terrible humor and achieve the lofty heights of Buster Keaton status? Find out, in the exciting* review below! (* disclaimer: the review may not be exciting).

Okay, I'm not going to make you wait. I'm not terribly impressed. This seems to be another fairly generic root beer cranked out by Rocket Fizz and then a zany label is attached. Not that it's bad, but for a bottled root beer, I expect more than a generic soda that I can get in a cheap can. It has a candy-like rootiness to it, with nary a hint of other spices other than a strong wintergreen presence and some slight vanilla, but the wintergreen is by far the dominating spice. The aftertaste has no major revelations, but I *might* be tasting a little bit of anise (licorice).

With it's candy-like taste, it comes off as feeling a bit on the sweet side. It isn't thick or syrupy, so isn't awful for a soda, so I can't really knock it down too far, as soda is fairly sugary on average. Now to the carbonation, I can only compare it to how the humor of the Stooges lands with me: flat. There is a little fizz to it initially, but as I hit the halfway point in the bottle, the carbonation has faded away to minimal amounts. Smoothness is nothing out of character with a flat drink and I wish it was creamier.

I'm glad Buster Keaton's name wasn't slapped on this root beer, as its qualities are more befitting the Three Stooges and their very unfunny brand of humor. I feel like Rocket Fizz isn't trying to make any exceptional root beers, but spends more time coming up with clever names to repackage their bland root beers. Don't get me wrong, I like the Rocket Fizz store with their huge selection of sodas, but their own branded drinks leave a lot to be desired. They aren't turning out anything super terrible, but nothing amazing either.

Rating: C-
flavor: C-
aftertaste: C-
sweetness: C
smoothness: B-
carbonation: D-