Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Blumers root beer

Background information: (from the website) "Remember going to the drive- in and chugging down a frothy mug of root beer? When was the last time you had a good Old Fashioned Root Beer? Now you can… we use choice ingredients and flavors to achieve an Old Fashioned Root Beer taste that will take you back to the drive-in. Get your frosty mug ready!"

There's not much info on the website, as the parent company Minhas Brewery is geared more toward adult beverages, with the sodas seeming to be more of an afterthought.

Product details: 11.16 fl. oz.  Minhas Craft Brewery, Monroe, Wisconsin. 177 calories, 40.6g sugar.  Glass bottle with twist off top.  http://minhasbrewery.com/

Ingredients: Carbonated water, sugar, natural and artificial flavors, caramel color, phosphoric acid, sodium benzoate and potassium sorbate (to preserve freshness).

My thoughts: Though Blumers was established in 1845, it wouldn't be until 21 years later that Charles Elmer Hires would invent the drink that we know as root beer (originally called Root Tea), however it would be another decade before root beer gained infamy when it was introduced at the 1876 U.S. Centennial Expo. So, does Blumers head start in the world of beverages give it a leg up on the competition, or did the later upstarts surpass their elders?

The flavor right off the bat is certainly rooty, with the sassafras flavor making this unmistakably a root beer. In that respect, I figure the recipe is probably a more modern interpretation. There's not a whole lot of flavor separation, with only a little vanilla peeking through. It's a decent, basic root beer, but not one that is going out of its way to do anything different.

I appreciate a Nutrition Facts label that is so precise that it lists the quantities to a precision of tenths of a gram. That precision must be unnecessary, however, as I find this root beer just a little bit sweeter tasting than I care for, which is unexpected considering it falls right in line with the norm. Carbonation is nice, with a strong effervescence that never becomes sharp, even though I do tend to like a bit of bite from my bubbles. Some root beers tend to flatten out a lot by the bottom of the bottle, but Blumers kept just enough carbonation around to do the job. While it's not a very creamy root beer, the lack of sharpness to the carbon dioxide helps it feel fairly smooth.

It seems that over all the years, Blumers has managed to craft a root beer that is friendly to the widest range of customers, with nothing too distinguishing that might turn away your average person. The good is that it's a decent root beer. The bad is that it doesn't offer anything exceptional that makes it worth tracking down.

Rating: C+
flavor: C+
aftertaste: C
sweetness: B
smoothness: B-
carbonation: B

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Jack Black's Dead Red root beer

Background information: (from the website) "Real Soda" is essentially a name that was coined by original partakers. The concept of Real Soda was conceived in the 1980's by Ginsburg who had been collecting bottle caps since he was four years old and who could not accept the invasion of cans and plastic to the detriment of all of the great sodas that had once been available."

(very long and detailed background available on their website.)

(from the bottle) "Third time available in 420 years." and "Better Dead Red than just plain dead."

Product details: 12 fl. oz.  Real Soda in Real Bottles Ltd., Gardena, CA 90249. For nutrition facts, please call (310) 327-1700.  Glass bottle with twist off top.  http://www.realsoda.com

Ingredients: Carbonated Water, Cane Sugar, Caramel Color, Caffeine, Brazilian Guarana, Sodium Benzoate (to preserve freshness), Citric Acid, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Red #40.

My thoughts: So, Captain Jack Black, scourge of the Tenacious islanDs. I've been avoidin' you, knowing that pirates of ye sort are prone to questionable hygiene and taste in bev'rages, drinkin' down any sort o' swill that crosses yer paths. Will ye' be a rooty beer to satiate me thirst, or will I prefer walkin' the plank?

Yarrrrrrggghhh, what a mighty stench emanates from thy bowels. Is enough to wake the dead and thee kin. Alas, chargin' onward, I lift ye ol' bottle to me lips, to be greeted with the curse of that scalawag Davy Jones, as the flavor that passes into me is a pungent one indeed, that bilge-sucking swine! Some enterprisin' bastard has stolen the very soul of root beer and tainted it with something sour and bile. Even after swallowing down the bitter swill, the ghost of it continues to haunt me to the rotten core.

Can one so vile be sweet? Well, us pirates ain't a discernin' lot, so e'en the least sweet o' them girls is honey to our waggish tongues. So she be okay. To our rough hands, she seems soft and smooth, though the landlubbers might wager differently. As fer the waters, they be tumultuous with bubbles and bite, but we like 'em that way.

Give me the plank! The salty spray of the ocean is needed to wash out this abomination, surely dredged up from the very depths of Hades. The Dread Pirate Roberts might 'ave plucked out me eye, but I may wrench out me own tongue and keelhaul meself before submitting to Jack Black's Dead Red again.

*note: I believe this is the first root beer that I just couldn't finish the bottle. Also of note, I believe this is my 100th root beer review.

Rating: F-
flavor: F-
aftertaste: F-
sweetness: C
smoothness: C
carbonation: B+