Empire root beer

Background information: They have no website which, in this day and age, is ridiculous.  What could they possibly be trying to hide?  A fleet of Star Destroyers?  I giant base the size of the moon?  The vicious Gungan Grand Army?

All I could find about this company is that it's family owned since the 1930's and that they have a physical location.  Looking it up on Google Maps shows a building with a semi-trailer blocking most of the front.  Very curious indeed.  What better place to stage a strike against the rebel scum?

Product details: 12 fl. oz.  Empire Bottling Works, 61 Buttonwood, Bristol, RI 02809.  401-253-7117.  170 calories, 46g sugar. Glass bottle with twist off top.


Ingredients: Natural artesian spring water, made with 100% cane sugar, natural and/or artificial flavor extracts, citric acid, sodium benzoate (Preservative).


My thoughts: After a couple mediocre root beers, I'm hoping that the force is stronger with this one.  Even though I rooted for the rebellion, the Galactic Empire was pretty cool as well and if Darth Vader had brewed his own root beer, he probably would have named it Empire Root Beer, with a tagline of "Come to the dark side."  So, hopefully this drink is more Vader than it is Jar Jar.

My initial taste was full of root beer flavor, but it leans more towards the artificial side of things.  It seems very one-note, with no complexity to the formula.  Okay, technically it's more two-note, as there is a ton of mint flavor, as the root beer taste dies away and I'm left with a strong wintergreen mint aftertaste.  While I do like some wintergreen, this one veers more towards toothpaste territory.

Perhaps this one can be saved by it's other attributes?  Well, you remember how multi-layered and nuanced the performances were in the prequel trilogy?  Yeah, they fell flat, just like this root beer.  There's a little bit of fizz, but it's quite bland.  Sweetness seems fine, but for a drink as lacking in effervescence as this one, it doesn't seem particularly smooth, as it lacks any sort of creaminess.

If this was the kind of root beer that the Galactic Empire was cranking out, it's no wonder the people rebelled and blew up the Death Star.  This is the sort of drink I'd expect to find on a backwater bar in Mos Eisley, but not something wearing the Emperor's namesake.  No wonder that guy was so grumpy.  Now if only someone would make a Dagobah Draft Root Beer, I bet that Yoda guy could toss in some roots and spices and whip up a mean drink.  As it is, this ends of being the Stormtrooper of drinks, no matter how much it tries, it always misses.

Rating: D
flavor: D
aftertaste: D
sweetness: B
smoothness: C-
carbonation: F+

Olde Rhode Island molasses root beer

Background information: (from the website) "“Take a look at this! This whole empire started in a backpack!”…that’s what an old high school friend of Real Soda’s founder Danny Ginsburg said when he visited the central warehouse with his wife and baby recently. And in fact... what is today perhaps unquestionably the most substantial purveyor of glass-bottled soft drinks in the USA had its origins with a bottle cap collection, a dream, and a desire and drive of immense proportions which all synergized to create the magic which is REAL SODA IN REAL BOTTLES.

"Real Soda" is essentially a name that was coined by original partakers. The concept of Real Soda was conceived in the 1980's by Ginsburg who had been collecting bottle caps since he was four years old and who could not accept the invasion of cans and plastic to the detriment of all of the great sodas that had once been available."


Product details: 12 fl. oz.  Bottled by Empire Bottling Works, - Bristol, RI for Real Soda In Real Bottles, Ltd.  170 calories, 46g sugar.  Glass bottle with twist off top.  www.realsoda.com


Ingredients: Natural artisan spring water, made with 100% cane sugar, natural and/or artificial flavor extracts, citric acid, sodium benzoate (preservative).


My thoughts: Upon catching a brief whiff of this root beer, I was excited.  A whirlwind of root beer scent indicates a thick, full bodied root beer beneath.  Alas, I was quickly stricken with disappointment, for beneath this brew's powerful facade lies something else all together.  The initial root beer is great and powerful, but as soon as the drink rolls off the tongue, in a flash, the curtain is pulled back to reveal that Oz the great and powerful is neither one nor the other.  The instant this root beer is swallowed, the flavor vanishes and is replaced by the dull taste of soda water, with just the weakest hint of vanilla.  It's sad, really, as the flavor is excellent (it would be better if it stuck around longer), the amount of carbonation is perfect--the bubbles dancing a little "Lollypop Guild" jig down my tongue--and it exudes a sweetness worthy of Glinda herself; yet the briefness of the taste makes it hard to recommend.  If you ever find yourself with a bottle of this, try tossing Toto's "Africa" on the record player, pull on your ruby slippers (c'mon guys, I know you secretly have a pair) and clicking your heels together three times and maybe a better root beer will appear.  At the very least, you'll provide some entertainment for your peeping Tom neighbor as he watches you through his binoculars while wondering why you are dressing in girls clothing and doing such a silly dance.


Rating: C
flavor: C
aftertaste: D
sweetness: B+
smoothness: C
carbonation: A